Friday, May 7, 2010

I miss Chile

So much.
I miss my host family. I miss the sea. I miss my neighbors. I miss taking the micros and colectivos. I miss la U de C. I miss making sushi with my host mom. I miss the Vega. I miss random trips to Santiago. I miss my family's cabin in the mountains. I miss once. I miss big almuerzos. I miss hugging and kissing people I first meet. I miss chilean soap operas. I miss empanadas. I miss my near fluency in Spanish. I miss el centro. I miss la vida sin preoccupaciones.

I must go back. Soon.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Stomachaches and layovers

12/17/09
Yesterday was so hard. I was crying from the moment I woke up until now minus a few hours.
I woke up and hopped on a micro for my last trip to the university as a favor for my host uncle. I got interviewed and I'm going to be in El Diario Concepción on Saturday! The author and photographer are going to send me the pics and article. They were doing a general piece on students who studied abroad and needed some examples. I called Lindsay to join me as well for another student interview.

After that her and I ran around the artesanía on Freire street to get some last minute recuerdos and stuffs. She took a lot of videos and we literally ran around the town, and made fools of ourselves on the micros.  We got off at the Vega Monumental to buy goodbye flowers for our hostfamily. I gave them that when I came home and shortly after that Cata came over for almuerzo because she was coming to the airport with us.

I was super sick at lunch, unfortunately, and wasn't able to eat anything. What sucked even more was I hadn't eaten anything all day by the time we got to the airport. I was feeling like, Perú sickness coming back.
My crying was in spurts, more than constant I suppose.
After almuerzo I closed up my bags and didn't bother weighing them, I knew they'd be more than heavy. Vlado and Wladimir took my bags down the tiny stairs for me. We loaded em up in my mom's little jeep and waited till the time to leave. 
Saying goodbye to Vlado and Wladimir at the house wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be, it was harder since Sarita and Cata were at the airport. I'd cry in spurts when I thought about memories.
When I said goodbye to my family's casa I started crying,
my host mom was trying so hard to calm me down "Oh but Cati, its not a goodbye, its a see you later!"
Then at the airport, things were a little tense because Triana didn't know when or where she wanted a picture together and eventually some of us decided to pass through security without waiting for Triana.
Before that I was just chilling with my mom and Cata.

I just keep imagining how much we're traveling! I mean I know we did it in August, but I keep coming accross maps and, wow, South South America back to North North America.  Just this morning, erm, last night also, we flew over Chile, Peru, Colombia, Cuba, and Florida.

Anyway back to the airport;
We've all been pretty composed, except for Hayley. Its just so weird going back.... We're in Miami now, and of course there is still lots of Spanish here, but using US currency is a little unfamiliar and hearing personel speak to us in English has been interesting. Everytime we want something all of us ask in Spanish first. For example I went up to a worker and said "Dónde está una casa de cambios?" And she had to ask me if I spoke English, haha. I'm going to be proud of that moment, actually.
OH how could I forget to say this:
I was bringing home two bottles of wine for Zach and for my parents and I got it confiscated in Miami customs :(
My host family guarenteed me I could, but obviously, they wouldn't know US customs. Oh well! I was only mad because I was the only one that got shafted. Literally, EVERYONE else got to put it in someone else's bag and not get in trouble. Me, on the other hand, since I was the first one to go through, they had already been processing the paperwork before anyone over 21 passed through :(:(:(
Like I said, OH WELL! Ive got plenty other gifts for them.
I'M SO EXCITED TO GO BACK!
AAAHHHHHH!
:D
But... I will miss Chile.
I have already skyped my host parents in Miami's airport.
Okay, time to find a casa de cambios and maybe some bfast. chao chao!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Last Full Day in Chile

12/15/09
Instead of packing my bags (don't worry, they're almost done) I'm sitting on the floor with my computer crying. I can't leave. I'm so accustomed to this life, and I prefer this culture over American culture any day. The reverse culture shock bullshit I learned about before coming, isn't going to be the bullshit I thought it was going to be.
Chileans have got it all right. All right.
Some randomg facts about them:
1) The concept of "nevermind" does not exist here what-so-ever. And if you try to explain it to them, even for those that know English, they'll never get it.  I like this idea; you can't just brush away something misunderstood or off topic. You don't ever do that. If someone didnt hear you and you try to brush it off, they'll push it until you share it.
2) Saying "I don't care" is possibly the rudest thing you can do. If someone asks if you want something and you say "Oh, I don't really care... I guess, maybe" They assume you're saying No, since you didn't say yes straight out. And then they get offended you wouldn't be straight up with them.
3) The concept of maybe doesn't exist either, its yes or no. If someone asks you a yes or no question, you absolutely positively cannot say "quizás" (the word for maybe in Spanish).  I can't think of an example right now, but maybe you get the idea.
4) If they offer you food and you refuse it, YOU ARE RUDE. If you're stuffed to the brim and your host mom offers you more corn, you have to take at least a few kernels or you could offend her.
5) Chileans never hold grudges. Unless its something really bad. If you're arguing about something, its  almost always solved in the day. They never like to go to bed angry, as they say. And tomorrow is always a new page, unlike a lot of people I know in the US.
6) They're families are SO CLOSE. NO matter what. They never say bad things about their family members either. And I've seen this outside of just my familiy as well. Mom's are always proud of their sons/daughters, no matter what. Even if they're mad at them that day, they won't say anything horrible about their children, ever. I adore the closeness of chilean families.  I never felt like I belonged to something so closely until coming here.
7) There are no secrets. No secrets. I don't think my host brother has ever not told anything to my host mom. And they swear all the time and its no big deal. They're just words to them.


I"m sure I've thought of more that I haven't wrote. These are my new green shoes I bought, sitting in front of the lake me and my mom went to 2 days in a row to tan and relax. I had the lovliest conversation with her... I don't know if I blogged about it, it was before Pichilemu. We talked about love, life, children, abortion, relationships, just about everything. We helped each other out, it really brought us closer than we already were. Afterward we hugged about 3 times and she kept saying "I had the lovliest conversation with my daughter today" and smiling.
Just 3 nights ago we discussed how we changed each other and what we brought into each others lives. And the changes that came and went, and those that will come.
I'm going to miss her so much. She's one of my best friends now. And I love that she has a mother's perspective on things.

Well. I must continue packing now. I'm weighing my bags soon (SCARY SCARY SCARY!) but I found out paying for overweight luggage is cheaper than shipping things, considering to ship a shoebox size box is nearly 50 bucks. *sigh.
The wine and 4 glasses/mugs I"m bringing home are really going to screw me... yikes.

Everything will be worth it though! I'm careful with my money always and I know that any money I spend on this trip is worth it, so I won't let the fees bother me. All the times I resisted buying something and all the times I shopped at Goodwill over the Mall will pay for the overweight luggage. Plus I didn't go on vacation to Pucón, so that saved money will pay for it too. There we go!

Like I said, back to crying and packing now.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Pichilemu, Santiago, and The Final Countdown :(






12/09/09
We met at the bus station for our bus to San Fernando at 10:40am.  We get dropped off on the side of a highway and had to walk about a kilometer to the bus station of San Fernando.  There we found a bus to Pichilemu... IT WAS SO HOT! We all had to get ice cream and water at the station.  The buses always make me think a lot and most of the time I write in my personal journal during rides.
(más tarde)
After we made it to Pichilemu and walked along the beach to find our hostel, as seen on the right pictures. IT IS LITERALLY RIGHT ON THE BEACH! It looks like a boat and its soooo cool. We dropped off our stuff and walked on the beach for a long time, eventually finding a restaurant to get some good seafood at for dinner. It was late so they were out of a lot of things that weren't seafood.  On the beach, we ran around in the freezing cold water, collected shells, and jumped around the rocks.  Saw some surfers out on the waters too!  It looks like a good place to catch some waves.  Watched the sunset a while before dinner.

12/10/09
Woke up and headed straight over to the supermarket to stock up on food. After that and eating we headed to Surf School Manzana 54.  They got us wetsuits, laughed as we tried to wiggle into them, and then walked us down to the beach for a jog and stretching.  Then our teacher taught us how to sufr, on the sand.  We drew surfboards in the sand and practiced pretend paddling... then, lifting up our chest, then getting up to standing position with our feet perpendicular to the board, weight to the front, and hands out for balance.  He made us pretend and jump on on the sand so many times that half of us started to get tired, haha.  Eventually we picked up our boards and walked over to a good place to enter the water.  It had been since Maui since I fought the ocea and I forgot how incredible it is!  I don't know how I"ve been living in the midwest all my life without it.  Chile was the first time my friend Christina even touched or saw the ocean!  Anyway we paddled out quie  a ways and immediately caught some good waves.  I stood up about 4 or 5 times in the beginning! I think in the end I was getting so tired and I ended up only managing to kneel, but nonetheless, I rode so many waves today! It was so damn fun!  They told us that when we fell we'd have to cover our heads to avoid being knocked out by the board.  I fell a buncha times but one time I resurfaced after a fall and popped up thinking "Whered my board go???" And right when I thought that it punched me right in the side of the head, right on my new piercing! I got tunnel vision and was so afraid I was going to pass out but eventually the feeling passed. IT WAS SO PAINFUL.  We stopped at about 2 unfortunately, but everyone was pretty tired anyway.  On my way out of the water, I was about 10 feet from a sealion, surfing along beside me.  I also saw a bunch of crabs running around the shore.  The guides laughed at us yet again as we all peeled off the shoes and wetsuits.  Now we're al showered and just chilling.  I'm the only one with much energy left and I'm considering taking a walk on the beach.
(más tarde)
While everyone was napping, Brad, Hayley and I went for a walk on the beach. We watched some risky chilenos jumping around on some huge rocks and untintentionally get soaked. Walking along the beach to the hostel I was running away from the water and my iPod feel out of my pocket... and into the ocean :(
For something to do and to figure out dinner, the boys and I went to the supermercado and I really only went to buy rice to try and save my iPod (Cheryl told me putting wet electronics into rice or kitty litter sometimes draws out the water and it could work again). Cheryl and Christina called us to say they wanted to eat out so we just went back to the hostel and looked at pictures and watched hilarious videos Brad and Evin took throughout the vacation.  After we met up with the girls again in downtown Pichilemu for dinner, we went back to the hostel and shared some drinks with the owners (who were from Spain) and also some people from England, Germany, Australia, and California. We were going to find a discoteca but we just stayed in the hostel instead, teaching each other dances of the world that we knew. One guy I met, who was from the states but living in Chile, looked EXACTLY like Will Ferrel and even had his same laugh and attitude. His name was Anton and the only thing he had that didn't look like Will Ferrel was his huge head of blonde curly surfer hair.
12/11/09
Today we woke up and headed over to the terminal to find tickets to Santiago.
We found some, and took off.
The only reason we were going to Santiago was to meet up with a lot of our friends we met who were studying there and to participate in the Santiago Pub Crawl, just like we did with Buenos Aires (the same people set it up in BA and then some moved to Santiago, started it up here.)
It was so great to see people and I met a lot of new great people from the states!
Erica and I want to road trip to the Grand Canyon next summer and some guys I met from AZ said I'm welcome to crash at their place during our journey.
I'm going to miss this country sooo much!
You can see the group shot of the pub crawl above, I don't know why my blog isn't working properly and I can't move them down here :(

12/14/09
Yesterday was my first whole day back from Pichilemu/Santiago and I was SO SICK! It was awful! I couldn't eat anything all day since my throat was so swollen, I had chills and a bad fever too. I don't know what was wrong with me! My parents were convinced it was the climate change from Pichilemu to Santiago to Concepción.  My mom gave me this miracle remedy for my throat though: honey with lemon. It worked like a charm, after that I was capable of eating dinner.
Also yesterday were the Chilean elections. My host family is NOT happy with the two with the most votes: Frei and Piñera. They were rooting for Marco Enrique Ominami, who is kinda an Obama equivilent in Chile, being young and making a lot of promises of change. A lot of people came over to watch the polls and Cata, my host cousin, got to hang out with me while everyone else obsessed over the politicians.  She and I made some bracelets and listened to music (she's 15) so of course we gossiped as well. Her and I made a date to go shopping this Tuesday at 11am. I'm excited to spend time with her, shes sooo adorable!
She also told me my Spanish had improved ten-fold since she met me in September. WOOP WOOP!


This is all for now. At 5pm some of us still in the area are getting together at Triana's apartment to celebrate December birthdays so I'm sure I'll be going to that. Before that maybe I'll try and go shopping, or pack, or both.
Yesterday I officially dragged out my smaller of the two suitcases and started organizing souveneirs in it. Almost cried!
I for sure did cry at dinner yesterday when I was talking to my mom and we were conversing about me going back, things changing, how we've changed each other, et cetera.

Time to get my butt moving! Its 10:30am!

Sunday, December 6, 2009

10 days remain

Me chillin at the beach of Lago Chico
12/06/09
I just typed 10 instead of 12 for the month. Thats how far behind I am. I do NOT have enough time here! Classes just ended and I wanna do everything! I wanna LIIIVE here!
I chose not to go to Pucón (to the south) with a huge group because I wanted to spend more time with my host family. However, I find myself not occupied enough, and thinking way too much about going home... just getting lost in my own thoughts. Two days ago, Friday, I shopped for about 6 hours with Alison and we hardly came home with anything. I got two pairs of shoes, cute flip flops and lime green tennis shoes for about 13 dollars. It was fun to run around el centro, however, and we got a damn good deal on a meal of empanadas on O'Higgins. I was so pooped, I didn't even go out. Alison and I had plans for Saturday too, but she ended up wanting to stay home. I just bummed around most of the day, helped my host mom clean because they're remodeling their house, and chilled at the beach for a bit with her, like the picture above. It was actually at a lake, but it was really nice and the water was super clean.

I don't care that I'm missing out on what they're doing in Pucón, but a part of me wishes I went and spent the money anyway just to not be here, trapped in my head! I'm just so depressed, thinking about leaving, not wanting to go, yet so impatient to see Zach in the airport, see Erica in Milwaukee, see my new apartment, et cetera.

I've already cried about leaving. Every time my host mom and I hug or share a moment I just tear up.

I can't wait to go north to Pichilemu and Santiago: I'll be occupied. Those 5 days will fly, I'll come back, pack for 2 days, and suddenly be on a plane on my way home. I don't want to start that vacation and I do!
I've never been this conflicted in my whooole life!
At least I can promise myself I'm coming back here.
At the very least I need to see my chilean family again within the next few years.
I can't wait to travel more.
I was born to travel.

Its quarter after noon here. So far I went for a 25 min run and ate breakfast. I think my mom wants me to go back to the beach with her today and actually swim this time, but I kinda wanna do this biking thing with Patsy in the Plaza Perú. Its kinda like this promotion activity to get people to ride bikes places and also for other people to respect bike riders on the streets. I'm scared to ride my host brother's bike all the way to el centro! Its like a 35 minute bus ride! I just might try it though 0.o

10 days remain of my time here.....

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Farewell... the end is near

My chilean mom and I... and Hayley in the background

12/3/09
About 4 months ago, a family let me into their life, took me in as their own. I thought they were so weird! They'd hug me all the time and pry about my day and how I felt. They wanted to take me every where and learn about me. They wanted to help me learn Spanish and encourage me to try new things and live life.
By now, they're MY family. Now I don't want to live without them. I'm going to miss them so much. So so much. Today was our last day of exams and tonight we had a farewell dinner and everyone's taking off to travel the next 2 weeks. It was so hard not to cry. Which is why I am now.
Sarita... has one of the best personalities I've ever encountered. She is someone I will always look up to. She is so intelligent, independent, caring, and kind. Not to mention, she's not materialistic. I'll never forget the lesson's she has taught me about the unimportance of materialism. Sara is just so cute too! She's so short she makes me feel real tall. And she's the best confidence booster... she always tells me, "you're so beautiful! no matter what you're doing or wearing; you're so unique and fun." I tell her I'm sad, she can cheer me up. I tell her I'm mad/upset, she'll let me vent till the sun comes up again. I say I'm hungry and damnit she'll be willing to run out side and pick all the veggies from the garden to make me a salad. A lot of times I'll be working on homework in my room and she'll come up with hot chocolate or a treat. Such a big sweetheart.
Wladimir, my dad, sometimes used to bug me, but now I know I'm going to be so sad when he's not around to tease me or tell me he'll do anything for me. He's kinda got that machismo attitude I don't like, but he's always treated me like his own daughter and deep down this guy is soft as dough, despite being a former Policía de Investigaciones.
Tonight I actually went to the dinner with Sarita and my aunt Sandra because my dad couldn't go. It was really sad, nobody got to talk to each other much. Saying goodbye afterward though... that was hard. This dinner was the last time our whole group will be together in Chile. Crap that makes me cry. This is really going to end, isn't it? Dreams do end I suppose. And I'll be back..
Evin, Brad, Alison, Hayley, Cheryl, Jessica, Alex, Christina, Lindsay... My new best friends.
I daydream a lot about St Cloud and being with them...
I think its time to cry a little...

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

EXAM WEEK. FML.

12/02/09
look how beautiful and green it is here! IN DECEMBER!
I HAVE NO IDEA HOW DECEMBER GOT HERE! HOLY CRAP!
Well this week has been full of exams, I obviously haven't been keeping up with my blogs, but hey, at least they got posted. I'm glad I wrote down what I did every day.
Exams have been stressing us out hardcore because we hardly did any work all semester and now they're pushing a ton of stuff on us. Well, I should make that past tense, I've only got 2 left and they're tomorrow. ONE MORE DAY OF EXAMS. That scares me! And only 14 days till my return flight? When did that happen?
I never want to leave, I love it so much, but at the same time I'm so excited to follow through with plans I've made, seeing everyone and such. And of course to move into my new apartment!
I can't decide if I AM or AM NOT looking forward to the snow, however.
For the last week and a half I have free of classes, I am taking a trip north to a city called Pichilemu to take surf lessons and then head up to Santiago for another round there before leaving.
That'll only last a few days, and for the rest, I'm happy to have put aside time to spend with my host family. I'm going to miss them so much. The chilean customs, their way of life, their jokes, and treats.
I could cry right now, I don't want to go so bad, but at the same time I wanna go home... not home home in Milwaukee but...
See. This obviously was going to happen. Its typical.
I'll stop.
Anyway, this weekend will be full of more bar hopping, shopping, and a farewell dinner with our families. Yes, I will cry at the farewell dinner.
One more thing: A girl from Chile who I have hung out with a lot is coming to St Cloud for spring semester and living in Lawrence Hall! I'm super stoked because that's the same building I'm working in for work study. I told her I'd show her around and help her out with anything she needs. Another thing to look forward to! :)